Sex & The Single Vicar

Tales of Ecclesiastical Dating

“Do I have to go?” I plaintively ask. “Yes,” Colleen, my life coach, says. “You have to give him a chance.” “Him” is “Don” — the last man on my six man plan with DCSingles. My matchmaker, Kelly gives me a heads up. “He didn’t go to college.” “That’s okay,” I say. “I like a …

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Flutter. Flutter. Flutter. Flew the beats of my bipolar heart. First date with Alfredo, the Uber driver, got off to a great start. Over coffee and pastry, we bantered about books, picked apart politics. But language handicapped, “1984” just does not compute. Spanglish flirting, cross cultural exchanges, sort of funny and familiar, awkward and strange. …

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DCSingles. Six man plan. Expensive. Man #5. Mark with a “k”, not to be confused with Marc with a “c” – who was Man #4. Confusing, I know. As texts for coffee flew back and forth, I nearly blew off the fifth before I had even met him. “Ooooooooo! January Mark with a ‘k’. Sorry, …

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Hatch. Match. Dispatch. Twenty-two years, I have been in the baptizing, marrying, and burying business. Ordained an Episcopal priest in 1994, I have long lost count of how many people I have sprinkled, laid to rest, or joined in Holy Matrimony. It is a rare privilege to be with people at such junctures – both …

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Once upon a time, I had a crush on Raymond Podany. Two seventh graders at Holy Family School, we danced our first dance in the school auditorium. I remember the first kiss, in the bleachers sitting in his lap. Collegiate and cool, he was also awkward and shy. Brainy and bold, I was anything but. …

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Catching my therapist up on my not so successful DCSingles dates, Sondra pauses and thoughtfully poses the obvious question: “So, Joani, what do you want?” “What do I want?” Well, not Bernie Sanders. I already wrote about him. And not the guy who is afraid of his own shadow — who I met for coffee …

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My lover is an open book. Quite literally. Currently I am intimate with three: White Noise by Don DeLillo. Hilarious, beautiful, and strange. Rain: A Natural and Cultural History by Cynthia Barnett.  “Lovely, lyrical, and deeply informative”. and… The Invention of Nature: Alexander Von Humboldt’s New World by Andrea Wulf.  “A big, magnificent, and adventurous book”. Each …

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