What is a bibliophile to do who knows zilch about dating?
She reads a book, of course.
So bibiliographically, I do a little research to discern who is the current expert in the field.
Which means I googled: “book dating over 50.”
Up pops a popular blogger on the Huffington Post: Lisa Copeland of www.FindAQualityMan.com. On my Kindle account, I happily download her e-book for free. Good thing because “Spoiler Alert!” this reviewer counts it not worth a dime.
And what is the name of this best selling book? “The Winning Dating Formula for Women Over 50: 7 Steps to Attracting Quality Men”.
Published in 2013, it’s schlocky; it’s simplistic; and its retro advice rings of 1970’s sensibilities. Or maybe the 1950’s.
I confess I have only read a quarter of the book (24% according to my Kindle) and I am not sure I can stomach the rest. It seems to be written for women who have not poked their heads out of their houses since they first dated in their teens.
Here’s sort of how it goes.
Ladies, set aside your worn out wardrobe and freshen yourselves up. This includes ditching your K-Mart underwear and your Crocs, of course. (If you ever catch me wearing the latter just take me out and shoot me. I have totally given up.)
Step #1. Long done.
Feminists, you need to get in touch with your frilly feminine side. If you are an Alpha at the office, you need to play Beta to snag an Alpha man. He needs to know he is needed so play a little helpless if you can. (Yuck, I am not making this up.)
Step #2. Ew.
Okay, this is as far as I have gotten and it’s really as far as I think I will get. But glancing over the table of contents, the final step, Step #7 stymies me. In part it’s about the etiquette of whether a woman over 50 can email a man! Apparently you have to read the entire book to find out. You have got to be kidding me!
I am not sure what Lisa Copeland’s credentials are. There are no impressive letters after her name like LCSW or Ph.D. She styles herself as a professional dating coach, dishing out expert advice. She has a considerable following on the Huffington Post.
Interesting because many of the experts she quotes are anonymous — “author unknown.” For good reason I believe. No self respecting author would lay claim to some of these quotes.
“The Perfect Guy is the not the one who has the most money or the most handsome one you’ll meet. He’s the one who how to make you smile and will take care of you each and every day until the end of time.”
Gag! I think I just threw up a little.
“Your worth does not revolve around what others think. Your worth is what you put in yourself and know in your heart.”
Thank you, anonymous. I already knew that.
“We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to listen, but why only one heart? Because the other one was given to someone for us to find.”
Cue the violins. Disneyesque, don’t you think?
Okay, not all of of anonymous’s advice is so bad. Here is one which I like very much:
“There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.”
I would like that one on a t-shirt. Yes, that one is gold.
But I do doubt some of Ms. Copeland’s anonymous sources. They don’t seem to come from scholars of the human heart or even from Psychology Today. They sound a lot like she looked them up in “1001 Inspirational Quotes on Life, Love, Work, Truth and Motivations With Questions to Ponder”.
It’s also available for 99 cents on Amazon Prime.
And while I am far from being the expert here, I think it might prove a better investment.
At least that’s my anonymous advice.
The Rev: Joani